


It Took Me By Surprise

by Larrklopp



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: And absolutely no comfort, Based around the song It Took Me By Surprise, Can be read as them not being in a relationship, Emotional Manipulation, It's not very graphic but please be careful with your health, M/M, Michael is not doing OK, Please be careful when you read this!!, Songfic, The SQUIP has one line in the entire thing, The two main tags are Suicide and Cutting, This does have a suicide, This is all hurt, This is the saddest thing I think I've ever written, Told mostly from the Be More Chill script, With little parts written from Jeremy and Michael's POV, and it's not even that long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larrklopp/pseuds/Larrklopp
Summary: Based on the song It Took Me By Surprise and how the boys match the song through their fight in the bathroom, the play, Jeremy waking up, and all the way to the aftermath of everything.





	It Took Me By Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is sad, however, it isn't graphic so it shouldn't be that bad. Even so, if you feel like you can't read about a character who cuts and commits suicide, then please don't read this. I really don't want to trigger anyone, I just wrote this cause I had the song stuck in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone. Anyways, this is based on the song It Took Me By Surprise by Maria Mena and has quotes from the script interwoven through the song lyrics. Reminder, I don't and probably will never own Be More Chill, so none of these characters or the script are mine. Enough chatter from me, on with the story!
> 
> Here's a link to the song to help you guys!! https://youtu.be/2FTU84vJYD4

_I would react badly_

_To the slightest hint of hesitance_  

M: Think, man! We’re talking an insanely powerful super-computer. You really think its primary function is to get you laid? Who made them? How did they end up in a high school? In New Jersey? Of all possible applications for such a mind-blowingly advanced technology, you ever wonder what it’s doing inside YOU?

J: And I thought Chloe was jealous...

_He’d bend awkwardly to suit my mood_

_No word from his defense_

M: I’m honestly asking!

J: Really? Because I think you’re pissed I have one and you don’t!

M: Come on—

_I’d cry knowing how my tears_

_Felt like acid burning through his skin_

J: Maybe I got lucky, is that so weird? With my history, I’d say the universe owed me one. And I don’t know about your friend’s brother’s whatever, but if you’retelling me his squip made him crazy—

M: His squip didn’t make him crazy.

_Pushed every little button_

_But the right one that would let me in_

J: Oh. Well... There you go.

M: He went crazy trying to get it out!

_Now he’s afraid of me_

J: Then I’ve got nothing to worry about. Why would I want that? Move it.

_He’s afraid of me_

M: Or you’ll what?

J:  Get out of my way. Loser.

_It took me by surprise_

_The hatred in his eyes_

(Hurt, Anger, Fear, Heartbreak)

_I’ve pushed this man as far as he could go_

_But he lacked the words to let me know_

(I wish I stayed at home in bed, watching cable porn

Or wish I offed myself instead, wish I was never born

I’m just Michael who’s a loner

God, he’s such a loser)

_He acted out, now I can see it is my fault_

(Just a few cuts, it’s not like anyone will notice…)

**Time Skip**

_I made changes that went unnoticed_

M: Mountain Dew Red! I told you I did my research.

J: That’s amazing! Give it to me!

_Sang songs for deaf ears_

M: Okay. Wait. No.

J: But I need it!

_He mistook my silence for punishment_

_As it had been all these years_

M: And I need an apology. I think that’s in order, I mean, you treat me like I don’t exist for months, blow me off when I try to help you—

J: Fine! I’m—

S: Vocal cords: block.

J: Saaaaa— Srrrrrr—

M: Seriously? Is it that hard to say sorry?

J: YYYYEEEES! C’mon, man, this is important!

M: Well, this is important to me!

J: It’s a word!

M: It’s a gesture! Gestures matter!

**Time Skip**

_I’d cry knowing how my tears_

J: I don’t get it. After everything I did... You were still there for me. Why?

_Felt like acid burning through his skin_

M: I can’t take all the credit. Your dad can be shockingly persuasive.

**Time Skip**

_Now he’s afraid of me_

The first time Michael flinched away when I tried to touch him, it caused me to pause but then think nothing of it.

_He’s afraid of me_

Now I know better than to even try to touch him.

**Time Skip**

_It took me by surprise_

C’mon Michael, let’s go, Jake and the rest of the group are waiting for us!

_The hatred in his eyes_

(I don’t feel like going to another one of Jake’s parties, I think I’ll stay here.)

_I’ve pushed this man as far as he could go_

Fine, Michael, if you don’t feel like it then I’m not going to force you.  Call me if you need anything, alright?

_But he lacked the words to let me know_

(*Calling Jeremy* *Call goes to voicemail* Voicemail-typical. *Scoffs at himself* Well, Jeremy, I-I just wanted to say sorry and… Goodbye.)

_He acted out, now I-_

(*To the razor* Guess it’s just you and me now...)

_It took me by surprise_

*Calling Michael* Michael, Michael please pick up-!

_The hatred in his eyes_

911?! Yes, I think my friend just tried to kill himself, he’s at this address-!

_I’ve pushed this man as far as he could go_

The family of Michael Mell? Yes, please come with me.

_But he lacked the words to let me know_

I’m very sorry, but by the time he reached the hospital, he had already lost too much blood. We did everything we could, but I’m afraid to say that he didn’t make it.

_He acted out, now I can see it is my fault_

**Author's Note:**

> Well, you made it through! I've never done this kind of writing, song-based wise, so please let me know how it is. I love constructive criticism, and I can honestly say that I will do my best to incorporate your suggestions into my writing. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful rest of your day!!


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